Some Recent Musings Bringing Life to Me

Over the past months, these thoughts are working their way into my heart and experiences as key truths for the journey ahead…may they awaken life within your own. I also welcome the chance to discuss further with you — reach out to connect.

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The truth that you are fully loved and that without end, burns within our hearts like a fire. To make this known to you in the most profound and intimate way is one of the passions of the Holy Spirit…and she will never stop. I want every blind spot in me consumed by this fire…

Our capacity to embrace and experience brokenness and pain without the immediate need to resolve it brings the heart of humanity close for union. Do we dare? As Jesus came to climb into the very same for us, He invites us to join Him in others…

Death never had the power over Jesus either before or after He became one of us. Yet, He embraced it to show us resurrection life is greater. What’s more, He embraced it as the final fruit of our violence towards Him and arose to proclaim that our worst is no match for His essence – Love: that abiding presence filled with joy over our lives. We have never been separated, despite what we may think. Instead, He had held on with a smile as true love does. May I become the same…

Resist underestimating the power of offered encouragement. Our personal “courage” tanks in our hearts can never be too full, and in fact becomes the difference between experiencing victory over defeat in the life situation we face. Offer generously and to everyone…the difference will be more than we can imagine…

What we condemn for punishment reflects parts of our hearts still blind and believing redemptive love is not greater. Nothing is beyond Jesus’ desire and power to transform. All He needs is our trust and cooperation…

We, yes each of us, have a truth of who we are as crafted by our Creator. Our life journey is discovering this truth and living from it. Experiencing peace-filled fulfillment and joy comes from living from the truth of who we are. We don’t create this, we find what’s there and live life from there…

Beauty, wonder and mystery impact each other without losing their individual uniqueness. They reflect an expression of agape flowing from the relational reality between the Trinity of which we are included. We can underestimate at times the impact and key each of these realities can have in experiencing the truth of our lives. Few words can capture the absolute presence each brings and how they bridge the eternal with the temporal…

Our Night Became Light

On that night, over 2000 years ago…

The ordinary became miraculous. Night had fallen and the darkness was deep. The day’s light was fully gone, leaving a blanket of silence across the land. Bethlehem was preparing to sleep yet another time, finally having a reprieve from the day’s hustle of foreign soldiers and their brutality to exact yet another tax from its people. Even the effort to party away the general feeling of continued oppression was hollow, only emphasizing even more the lie that their life was nothing more than a payment for power’s pleasure. Sleep, it seemed, to be the only escape, but only temporary. The morning light would bring more of the same of what seemed an unending cycle.

Even more life draining was the unseen phantom of shifting form that walked among all of mankind since Earth’s beginning. Possessing both a loveless esteem and a mouth full of lies, this created being that once stood and worshipped the Eternal Relationship of the Eternals – the Father, Jesus and the Spirit – now focused his treachery on their heart’s desire and treasure of all the Cosmos – us as humankind. Depraved, fallen and transformed into the expressed image of ultimate brokenness, this creature who once reflected beauty, song and dance of the Goodness and Love of the Eternals, now existed to lie and project myths about you and I’s purpose, goodness, and inclusion in the circle of Eternal Love. And while the myths are but hollow walls blocking the Light of humanity, this same Light continues to shine brightly as a sun of all suns through space and time. What is the truth of this light that never diminishes nor has an ending? You and I were fashioned as part of the Eternals, in their likeness and form, existing in an unbroken relationship because of their love for each other AND us.

So what does the Eternals do when those they love are so blinded by the lies and bound in the prisons of their own making in choosing to believe they are separated rather than already in union with them? They become the creature, to experience our journey and dwell in the midst of our darkness to destroy every wall of myth that restricts the Light of Eternal relationship that shines from within in every human as a present reality. Mystifyingly beautiful and wondrous as an expression of their love for all of us.

And so it happens. Against the hushed awe of heaven’s creatures, the Eternals do just that – they become the very creature they had created. Not a “superman” creature who remains aloof, but one born and bound within the finite of our world’s experience. They enter our world as we do – as a baby, subject to the process of growth of our bodies, minds, souls, experiences and choices. Into us, they join themselves – their Agape – the most powerful force that unites. Doing so now enables us to experience the union of creature with Creator. The Eternals fully understood that the loss of relationship at the beginning was blindness to the reality of ever-present union. Their love for humanity compelled their desire to become like the creature, to experience their deepest blindness and darkness. They did this to declare with finality – “Our union with you is the light within you that never diminishes. Your freedom to embrace it or the myth that we are separated will always be yours to make because true love always gives a choice. But whatever you choose in any one moment doesn’t change our committed promise to remain present. Know with certainty our coming as Emmanuel (God, plural, with Us) was our choice to become like you to win your heart. You are always with us and we will keep challenging your darkness of blindness to experience our established union in love’s full embrace.”

The appointed night arrived, framed by history and the doorway into the future. The world in that moment laid silent – exhausted, discouraged, and hopeless – accepting what was as what is and what will be. And then, in the quiet emptiness of that night, faint but crescendo-ing, a baby’s birthing cry echoed across the landscape proclaiming – the Eternals have come to make their Presence known within the human soul as an intimately, experienced reality. Our night of being lied to has transformed into Light – we have never been, nor ever will be, alone. The Eternals insure it with their very existence.

Thank you Jesus for pursuing us all the way to earth and in our deepest recesses of myth and lie. Thank you Father and Spirit for your unending Presence and Love for each other and Jesus, also choosing to have each of us as part of your Eternal journey together. May Mystery, Beauty and Wonder of Your relationship together captivate our hearts with fuller revelation with every passing moment. May we want you like you want us.

Mark Francis

December 2021

Never Alone (a short story)

Fear gripped the twins like an invisible noose, ever tightening around their hearts. After 40 years of seeking everything they could imagine to get release from this deadening force, the emptiness they experienced was a hole deeper than either could describe. But they did feel it, a silent, weighty darkness that surrounded their life. When not silent, the darkness offered repeated, piercing accusations that came with a vengeance, digging deeper the hole they felt…

“You are not worth it!”

“Who are you to deserve that?”

“No one wants you!”

After each verbal blow, their heart reeled as another piece of hope would be stolen cutting deep wounds. Over time, their own thoughts had become increasingly lifeless and demeaning, darkened also by the incessant messages of religion and those who arrogantly stood on the side of religious rightness. Broken themselves, these “friends” within their own community constantly shared loveless commands of “Believe this more”, “Do that more” and “Perform more”. Believing they owned “THE” truth dominated the motivations behind their actions which in the end, stole again and again the twin’s hope to be held, cared for and loved, in the midst of their broken, empty and pained-filled lives. The constancy of these messages from so early an age had dramatically disfigured the very face of God in their eyes. Even when they chanced a gaze towards heaven, they would wince waiting for another beat down from Him too. Modeling by God’s so-called “people” had done its work – even God could not be trusted, especially when the twins needed Him most. The lie of mistrust had anchored solid.

Lisa and Tony were inseparable the moment they were born. As the first identical twins in their family, they were held early on with a kind of disconnected specialness. Their parents did as best they could, but time and family pressures eventually scarred their hearts with a growing sense that life would have to be lived on their own. Few identified with them, nor took the time to hear and understand. Growing up, Lisa and Tony did have their unique bond and filled their days with child-like joys. But, as the years passed, their time together became less and less, as they embraced their own journeys and dreams. It was a slow drift apart, but one that was deep and tangible. Before long, a nagging splinter made its way into that core place of their hearts where one’s value and worth is meant to grow and enlarge. Painfully and methodically, wounds formed that would only deepen and spread with each day, leaving each of them with a festering notion…

“You…are… alone”.

“Get over it – you’re just a woman”, became a common theme of the words that filled Lisa’s inner world. Written often and at times with great passion from those around her, Lisa’s heart cataloged the countless times she received “encouragements” of this kind. Whether at home, with friends and especially from many in her religious tradition, she was held in that place of “less than.” Each time it came, even without words, the message went deep. Still, her strong heart had felt early in her life a sense of wonder and beauty about her womanhood and of the deep value that came from simply being. While unsure of its source, this awareness was there, taking every step with her. But, like many other life stories around her, Lisa thought less and less of herself over time as disillusionment made its home within her. Relationship strains and breakups, broken attempts to reconnect, and the repeated description of her lessened value damaged her heart profoundly. Trust evaporated, and one bad decision led to another, and another. Soon the years had passed and the 40-year old staring back at her in the mirror this day was a roadmap of painful valleys with few joys along the way. Aloneness crowded her reflection with its own shadow of deep darkness.

Miles away, Tony experienced the same reflected image as he stared into his hotel mirror after another night of trying to desperately find something to fill his own growing heart void. Elevated by family and friends, Tony’s journey had been filled with favor and attention from others simply because he was a man. Never quite at ease with this treatment early on, especially when it affected his sister, he did his best to downplay the disparity. Joking and sarcasm became his practiced deflection.  The older he got, though, the less he could ignore it. Then, at some point, he came to embrace and expect the special treatment. When he didn’t get it, anger became his emotion of choice. The impact led to coldness and intentional separation from anyone who challenged him. Like a self-inflicted disease, he increasingly believed that he indeed deserved this favor. Selfishness marked his intents and soared directly into the lives of those around him, leaving most feeling used and broken. His guilt increased daily, but because he felt so broken himself, stopping seemed unattainable. Into this destructive pattern came scattered and irregular nights when Tony would dream in his troubled sleep. Each dream would be different, but most would have a recurring, unidentifiable figure, who would come to him with arms outstretched in invitation. In these dreams, a hope would spark in Tony’s heart with deep longing – could it be? Does someone want me for me? He would then wake, unfulfilled yet again.

A few days later, after celebrating their birthdays alone, Tony called his sister, something they had not done enough over the past few years. A meet up was planned for a few days later. Their embrace upon meeting this time felt long overdue, but more meaningful. Strapping on their backpacks, they had planned an afternoon of hiking in the beautiful mountains of the Wasatch Front, just east of the Salt Lake Valley. After some personal catch up for the first mile on the trail, they happened upon a small, but scenic mountain lake, tucked away from the valley below. Stopping and settling down on its soft and grassy bank, they took in the scene. Pine trees and coyote willows, along with scattered sagebrush surrounded the lake, while the red sumac contrasted the color of the yellowing quaking aspen, further up the mountain. For a few moments, they sat in silence, taking in the cool, but silent breeze and the quietness that unlocks reflection. Almost on que, they both began tearing up, as years of stored away pain and loss came to the surface. Slowly, but intently, they began to share their stories. As the bygone pictures were painted, each not only felt the release of being supported, but also the beginnings of their hearts intertwining again. Surprised, they discovered that while their roads had been different, their conclusions reflected back in the mirror only days before on their birthday, had been identical.

Taking some moments to consider each other’s exchange and simply embrace, both were taken by surprise when a lone white dove landed at their feet and made its way between them. Spreading its wings to touch both their legs, Tony and Lisa froze. Unable to move or speak, they thought, “What was happening?”.  In the stillness, they watched as the bird switched his gaze between them back and forth. Unexplained peace flooded around them, tangible and real. Ever so softly, they became aware of a voice making its way into their hearts. It was so clear they both looked around to see if someone had joined them. Later confirming the same message, they were arrested by what they heard…

“The scene you are sitting in has always been, even in your absence from it. This mountain, these trees, this lake, and yes, this precious dove are as real today as they were yesterday and before. The same is for your life and heart. You cannot gain, nor earn, what you already have. You were born into center of my surrounding Presence and Goodness that covers the world you walk in, but more importantly, envelopes you as my cherished beloved. You exist within me and there is no canyon to cross to get back to me. Our lives are intertwined from the moment you were conceived, even though you may not see it. You were born into my world more than you were born into yours. Let me show you — Can you look back and see us walking together?

My hands and feet carry the wrinkles and scars of your own journey – because I was there with you.

My heart carries the same pains and losses from your valleys – because I was there with you.

My eyes and ears have seen and heard the assaults from all who live in conditional love — because I was there with you.

I was there because I never leave. I carry what you carry because you are in Me.

As I experience you, I desire you to experience Me. Separation is not a truth of my existence – I have not been separated from anything. Your life exists in the center of my Presence. Only your blindness, created by lies, denies the connection we already have. But even your blindness is weak to my surrounding Presence.

I am Jesus – Immanuel – ALWAYS face to face with you. You are not alone.”

Astonished and overwhelmed, Tony and Lisa slowly look at each other with a foreign gaze of wonderous perplexity. No words are found as silent mystery marks the moment, each holding the echoing words deep in their hearts. Feeling a stir, their eyes again focus on the dove, who folds its wings, and lifts off in flight and out of sight. Lisa reaches for Tony’s hand, and they sit together as cleansing and renewing tears fall from their eyes, revealing the growing life from their returning sight of knowing Jesus sits with them, even here. Unsure, but captivated by what seems to be new insight, their surroundings take on new meaning as shafts of hope’s light interject courage where despair had taken root. Life can now become a daily awakening to what is – they are not alone, and never have been.

— Mark Francis